The I AM Program

Bringing Emotional Intelligence Education To Your Community for a Bright and Sustainable Future

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Developing Our Emotional Intelligence

Posted by Arna on February 9, 2012 at 12:20 AM

It takes courage to face the parts of us we hide from the world and from ourselves. But when we are willing to explore the possibility that we are more than who we have been led to believe we are, we can expect GREAT results. Emotional intelligence is about developing awareness of emotions in ourselves and the people around us. It is about developing the smarts to navigate our lives in the best possible way for us. We all use emotional intelligence everyday to say the right thing, to get what we want or to make an impression. We use emotional intelligence to survive. But the simple fact is we are often using it without a healthy value system. We are using our emotional intelligence habitually from old programs often peppered with neglect and negative self-image rather than from a place of conscious awareness. As we follow old programming, react to things that happen to us in the same ways over and over, think the same types of thoughts again and again, we are continuously creating neural patterns in our brain that support the old way; in effect it is a vicious cycle that makes it easy to keep living the same life we’ve lived so far. To change our lives we must first change the thought system that has been allowed to cluster and flourish in our mind. When we use our natural E I to make the choice to construct a positive value system, think healthier thoughts and grow different neural clusters, ones that support rather than sabotage our idea of a successful life, we cannot help but notice awesome changes! Sometimes as we change it can feel uncomfortable and scary, this is because it is unusual. We may have no frame of reference for happiness or achievement and old unwanted parts of the brain are struggling to remain active etc. This is ok, it is about remembering that the uncomfortable or frustrated feelings are simply that, no more than a FEELING with no more power to hurt, than you, as the boss, give it. Your feeling’s can not sustain the emotional pain they may trigger if you are in charge. When you say ‘I am aware that this is a feeling and I am tracking it/ observing it…you will see it dissolve…it is like a cut on the body, attend to it and it heals. It is only when you are unconscious, not tracking it and letting it walk all over you, allowing it to lead you into thinking unsupportive thoughts that you can get wired into a state of confusion. When this happens you must remind yourself that you are the boss and employ some of the positive techniques we will learn through this program to get yourself into the habit of choosing wellbeing over the ‘old and easier’ way. When you do this often enough the new positive and successful and powerful you becomes the EASY WAY and the old one dies off! High emotional intelligence is the mark of a happy and successful human being. We are all capable of developing our E I, in fact not only capable but it is our RIGHT to have the opportunity to develop it. Sometimes due to our life circumstances emotional intelligence gets left out of the equation. And we suffer as a result. But now we are old and wise enough to take on the job of developing our own self-awareness, of giving ourselves the opportunities and options in life that we deserve! This is GOOD NEWS! Even MORE GOOD NEWS, the brains is wired to do as it is told and we have the power to command its growth!

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2 Comments

Reply Rachael
4:19 PM on February 24, 2012 
This is such a great summary of the power we have to to shape our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. Sometimes we focus too much on external problems and frame things so negatively. So thank you for this hopeful and empowering reminder of how developing our emotional intelligence will make us more healthy and happy.
Reply Arna
8:48 PM on February 24, 2012 
Thanks for commenting Rachael You are so right. iI's our eyes that we are seeing through, attached to OUR mind, we will always perceive according to our own filters and conditioning. So negative conditioning and negative thought world in general puts a negative veil on our perceptions and judgement, closing us off to effective solutions, but POSITIVE thought world affects our perceptions and judgements in a wonderful POSITIVE way!!
isn't the brain amazing?
Arna x


Rachael says...
This is such a great summary of the power we have to to shape our perceptions of ourselves and the world around us. Sometimes we focus too much on external problems and frame things so negatively. So thank you for this hopeful and empowering reminder of how developing our emotional intelligence will make us more healthy and happy.
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